Wednesday, July 14, 2009
London

My day started at 6. 30 am as I checked email and proof read my blog before calling my parents and brother Russel in Bombay. I also continued working on my Oxford Lecture and made steady progress on it until I decided to stop for breakfast (cereal and milk) and a shower. At 11. 30 am, I left my flat for the bus ride to Lewisham for the funeral of Mary Wilson whom I had interviewed at the end of last year. I did manage to get to the Church of St. Savior on time and was pleased to see so many folk from the Thursday Luncheon Club of the South London Anglo-Indian Association who had already assembled there. I walked to the church with Oscar , another man who I had interviewed, and met Cecil, Mary’s husband at the church. He was surprised but very pleased to see me indeed.

This was my first funeral in the UK and indeed my very first cremation. The mass was short and said by a South Indian or perhaps Sri Lankan priest. The eulogy delivered by Mary’s son, Peter, took the form of the recitation of a poem that was composed by Cecil. It was deeply moving and I was in tears for a good part of the service. It is amazing to me how close I feel to these folks who have shared their life stories with me. In fact, I possibly know them better than they know each other even though they have been friends for years. Certain aspects of one’s life never come up in conversation even with one’s closest friends. Everyone spoke fondly and admiringly of the devotion that Cecil showed Mary who was on dialysis for years and it was profoundly moving for me to see him dab at his eyes several times during the day. Equally emotional was their grandson. It is wonderful, I think, that these Anglo-Indians have created links that allow them to stand by and support each other in times of grief. The members of the group are hoping very much that Cecil will return soon to the Thursday Luncheon Club as this might be a way for him to resolve his loss and move on.

I was especially grateful to Dennis and Joy who gave me a ride from the church to the crematorium to the wake which was held in a pub in Lewisham called One. This couple has been extremely supportive of my work here in London and I very grateful to them too as also to a number of the other folks I had the chance to meet over the past year. They are now preparing for their Anglo-Indian Annual Day which takes places in Croydon on the first Sunday in August–alas, I will miss it as my UK visa expires on August 1 and I need to leave the country before this date. Unexpectedly, this funeral gave me a chance to meet many of these folks and thank them personally for the assistance and hospitality they extended to me over this past year. I was also pleased to meet Lynette, Cecil’s sister from Canada, who flew to London for the funeral. We have corresponded via email but hadn’t met each other earlier. This was a sad occasion but an opportunity, nevertheless, for us to connect in person. Lynette does a great job keeping Anglo-Indian history and affairs alive in her part of the world and her networking skills are enormous.

I said my goodbyes to Cecil and my friends and left the pub at 4. 30 pm to catch the buses that brought me back home at 6 pm when I took a bit of a rest before I continued with the task of sorting out papers and packing. I need to make a list soon of all the things I have to do before Llew arrives here so that I can actually spend our last few days in London doing quality stuff and not anything too boring such as packing.

At 6. 30 pm, I heard sounds in my loft and realized that I had company–a few minutes later, Loulou walked in, to my great joy. It was great to see her again after more than two weeks. Paul followed a few minutes later. They had arrived to go out for an important family dinner and, therefore, disappeared into their room to dress. I continued to work on my PC, then had a solitary dinner at home–still trying to finish leftovers in my fridge and freezer but I made myself a large salad after a long time with a mustard vinaigrette. I went to bed early knowing that I would awake the next day and have company at breakfast.